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January 31
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"Age of Gluttony" [link] is gonna be sent out tomorrow night, so if you want in on the preorder bonus action, you've got until then to purchase it up! After that? Nothing but a lifetime of regret, of the preorder bonus that got away. You'll see its shadow in the wind, blowing away out of reach for all your years. In your old age, as you write your memoirs and look back on your 105 years (good job, you long-liver, you!) of accomplishment and worthwhile pursuit, the timeline of your existence will be marred by that one misstep...failing to preorder 'Age of Gluttony'...especially as you went on to order it later anyway, after the preorder deadline, and marvelled at what a delightful and alluring little misadventure it was, but always wondering...what was in the preorder bonus?...what further pleasures and wonders did it hold?...and all those around you when the final hour passes will wonder, why were your last words 'Age of Gluttony preorder bonus'?

And as I, old and frail, hobble to your grave, I will lay upon it a printed out copy of the preorder bonus, wrapped around a dozen roses, a final parting gift for your journey to the great Afterwards. But as your spirit ascends, it can't help but wish you could have perused it when blood yet flowed through your veins...if only you could have told your past self to preorder it on that fateful day of long ago...

In short, don't make your future ghost all sad.

PREORDER IT UP, YOU

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:iconfoducool:
lol, "philodophrtd" (2nd paragraph, can't miss it)
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:iconcurt-teh-murt:
I can't remember if I bought this or not...
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:iconfelixcraft:
In a future reboot of law and order.
The Saxxon killer. The victims had one thing in common, they all had pre-ordered his stuff, but would rather die then hand it over.
One of their dying cries was recorded: Suuuuccckkk iiiiitttt!
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